You Spot It ~ You Got It

Contemplating conversations over the past couple of days where misunderstandings of text, email and blackberry messaging has created a number of foibles and fallacies, there is a lack of a deep consideration for a number of perspectives when we move so quickly through emotions via technology. First, the immediacy with which we judge and condemn a situation and then, in effect, judge and condemn others, specifically under the influence of emotions and quick fingers, is debilitating to the process of understanding another person's perspective and also in giving our own emotions, and the situation at hand, time to evolve. Here the lesson seems to be to slow things down and take conflict "off-line" and work through human elements in human ways such as the old-fashioned personal conversation or over a shared meal. When presented with relational and interpersonal communication challenges, the velocity at which we currently speed through temperaments does not seem to give space for possibility of other dimensions.

Then, there is the degree at which we hold on to past impressions and experiences (those chitta and samskaras resurfacing!). The ability to change the thoughts, words and actions that are holding us in the past is determined by how much truth and honesty we can handle about ourselves and how much time, effort, and commitment we extend to make the changes necessary. Changes of the mind first occur through recognition and acknowledgment ~ softening ourselves to hear what another person has to say with an open heart. Then with contemplation and self-study, the scriptures and texts can support a rightful change of heart and mind. This is followed by prayer and meditation to create new thought patterns and a different future. The fruits of cause and effect.

These past few days, I returned to the heart teachings of Jesus. In Luke 6:35, Jesus speaks about loving people whom we do not love and he says, "Love your enemies! Do good to them! Lend to them! And don't be concerned that they might not repay. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to the unthankful and to those who are wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate." And, in Matthew 7:1, Jesus tells, "Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?" These lessons are helpful reminders to examine motives and conduct and not judge others, as well as to love all beings unconditionally under all circumstances.

The traits that bother us in others are often the habits and character flaws we have ourselves. Debbie Ford speaks of this in her work on the Shadow Effect and it is quite helpful to keep turning the dial on the many different perspectives that are possible in a given situation. And, from there, see what we are responsible in creating and what we need to be accountable for in our own conduct in words and actions. Within that inquiry, is the place to create new habits. It is a vast exploration and honest self-inquiry is certainly not for the faint of heart. Willingness and humility are necessary. And in this process of imperfect humanity, I am still learning....